Genshin Impact: My roommate and I became funny Hilichurls

Page 103

Upon hearing this, Er Kang, far from being afraid, put his hands on his hips, threw his head back, and let out a standard, villainous three-part laugh: "Hahaha! What a joke! Don't even mention a mere author like him! Even if a reader came and dared to give wild orders, I, Uncle Er Kang, would beat them up without hesitation! Hahahaha—!!!"

His laughter echoed across the empty plains, filled with an arrogant air of "Heaven is number one, and I am number two."

However, as he laughed, Er Kang sensed something was amiss.

It's so quiet around me.

He stopped laughing, blinked in confusion, and realized that his companions who had been surrounding him were all gone.

"Huh? Where is everyone?"

Erkang looked around and saw Zhang Chu, Qingyu, Gu Qian, Ying, Paimeng, and even the Wolf King standing neatly on a small hill in the distance, staring at him from afar, their eyes as if they were looking at a powder keg about to explode.

"No way! Why are you all so far away?!"

Er Kang shouted in dissatisfaction, completely unaware of the seriousness of the problem.

"Come quick! The crisis is over! We can have a victory celebration!"

In response to Er Kang's call, Zhang Chu silently pulled out a huge megaphone from behind his back, took a deep breath, and shouted with all his might in Er Kang's direction:

"Idiot—!!! You're asking for it—!!! Don't drag us into this—!!!"

The sound was like rolling thunder, making Er Kang's ears ring.

Before Erkang could react to Zhang Chu's meaning, Qingyu grabbed the megaphone and added in an even more urgent and terrified voice:

"Look—!!! On your head—!!!"

Er Kang was a little stunned by the two shouts. Subconsciously, with a hint of bewilderment and a dismissive attitude that "what big deal could it be?", he raised his head—

Above the azure sky, a dazzling point of light appeared out of nowhere!

The point of light was rapidly expanding at an incredible speed, accompanied by a piercing shriek that seemed to tear space apart!

That wasn't a point of light at all; it was a... colossal fireball, burning with raging flames, its surface even faintly displaying some kind of mysterious runes (which resembled the words "courting death")!

The fireball's target was none other than Er Kang, who was standing still and had just looked up!

That terrifying sense of oppression felt like divine punishment personally descended by the very embodiment of Heaven's justice!

"Fuck!!!"

Er Kang's pupils instantly shrank to the size of pinpoints, and all his arrogance was instantly replaced by fear!

He only had time to let out a cry from the depths of his soul before his body instinctively tried to turn and run away.

But it was too late.

That fireball of causality, seemingly embodying the author's (and possibly the angry readers') endless resentment, precisely and flawlessly, defying all the laws of physics, instantly traversed the final distance, striking with devastating force—

"Bang--!!!!!!!!!!!"

A deafening roar, indescribable and like the explosion of stars, shook the entire continent of Teyvat!

Centered on where Er Kang had originally stood, a small but perfectly formed mushroom cloud slowly rose up. A powerful shockwave, carrying dirt, grass clippings, and scorching heat, spread violently in a ring outwards, blowing everyone on the distant hillsides off course and forcing them to cling tightly to the rocks or the wolf king's legs.

A few minutes later, the dust settled down a little.

Zhang Chu, Qing Yu, and Gu Qian somehow found three huge steel tower shields that looked like they were "borrowed" from the Fontaine warehouse. They held them up in front of them, forming a temporary mobile fortress, and carefully moved step by step toward the center of the explosion.

The wolf king activated its scanning mode, vigilantly monitoring the surrounding spatial fluctuations in case of any further attacks.

Ying and Paimon hid behind a boulder, only their eyes peeking out as they nervously watched.

They arrived at the edge of the huge, charred crater, which was still emitting smoke and a scorching heat.

In the center of the pit, an object that could still be vaguely made out to be human-shaped lay on the ground, its entire body black, as if it had just been pulled out of a coal mine, trembling and spasming. It would occasionally spit out a small black circle from its mouth, as if its soul was about to be blown out.

Zhang Chu carefully poked the lump of "black charcoal" on the ground with the edge of his shield, sighed helplessly, and said with a tone full of regret:

"I told you, don't court death, don't make promises you can't keep, and especially don't provoke the beings that can decide your fate... Now look what happened, right? Feeling good? This time it was a fireball, who knows what it will be next time."

Upon hearing this, the lump of "black charcoal" convulsed even more violently, seemingly wanting to refute, but could only utter some unintelligible "hoho" sounds from its throat, as if denouncing the injustice of the world and the author's cruelty.

Qingyu added gloatingly, "It seems the author's revenge... came swiftly and ruthlessly! Erkang, your bold statement of 'readers will be beaten if they come' probably hit a nerve with some 'readers', huh?"

Gu Qian nodded honestly: "Yeah, I think Er Kang might need a... sturdier helmet."

Chapter 123 Inazuma's Situation

In a Japanese-style interior filled with the elegance and tranquility of Inazuma.

Raiden Shin—the former Thunder God, a figure both gentle and dignified—was looking somewhat helplessly at the "humanoid object" on the floor, still twitching occasionally, its body charred black, as if it had just been pulled from the heart of a thunderstorm.

Er Kang, who recklessly provoked the author (and readers), was tragically subjected to divine retribution.

"So... that's how he ended up?"

Raiden picked up his teacup, blew on it gently, and spoke with a hint of amusement and nonchalance.

After all, dealing with these four visitors from another world for a long time requires a strong tolerance for stress.

Zhang Chu leaned against a pillar with his arms crossed. His metal mask couldn't hide the calm (or rather, numbness) in his voice: "Don't worry, he's tough as nails, tougher than the ancient rocks of Teyvat. This level of 'education' will at most shut him up for a few days, he won't die."

As if to confirm his words, the "coke" on the ground timely emitted another small black circle with a burnt smell.

Qingyu sat cross-legged on the tatami mat, unceremoniously picked up a piece of Inazuma's signature Hizakura mochi and stuffed it into his mouth. While chewing, he asked indistinctly, "Speaking of which, how is Inazuma doing now that we've been away... uh, during our time away? Is everything going well?"

"This..."

Raiden put down his teacup, a gentle and satisfied smile appearing on his face.

"Thanks to everyone, and the 'intelligent processing unit' left behind by that 'Guilliman' from another world, Inazuma is now fully on track."

"Most of the tedious government affairs and documents are handled efficiently by that 'AI.' My work, as well as that of the others, including Shadow and the others, is actually not much. It's more about symbolic decision-making and... enjoying this hard-won peace."

Her words carried a hint of relief, as if a heavy burden had been lifted.

Imagine that in a corner of Narukami Shrine, Yae no Miko is lazily basking in the sun, reading the latest light novel, with fried tofu and sweets piled up next to her instead of documents.

Meanwhile, Lei Films might be enjoying the newly developed "Tricolor Dumpling MAXPro" version while peeling an apple with "Dream One Heart"...?

Gu Qian carefully sat on the specially made widened cushion, afraid of damaging the exquisite tatami.

He interrupted in a muffled voice, "What about that stragglers? How's he doing now? Also, we heard that Little Dulin is with General Thunder?"

Raiden patiently replied, "The stragglers... he now runs a small blacksmith shop on the outskirts of Inazuma Castle and has become a craftsman."

"It must be said that he was indeed very talented in blacksmithing, and the knives he forged were sharp and tough, which were very popular among some samurai. Although he was still a bit awkward, at least he found a way to calm himself down."

At this moment, in a blacksmith's shop, Scaramucci, the former sixth seat of the Fools' Executor and now a blacksmith, was shirtless and sweating profusely as he hammered a piece of red-hot tamahagane. He might be muttering words like "boring" and "mortal" under his breath, but his eyes were unusually focused.

"As for Dulin Jr."

Raiden's smile softened even more.

"He and the young general got along very well. The young general was responsible for his safety and 'common sense' education, while he took the general to experience the local customs and culture of Teyvat."

"The two of them went on a trip together. A few days ago, they sent a letter and some local specialties from Liyue. They said they heard a play by Mr. Yun there, and Little Dulin almost sang along, which startled the tourists around them."

"Shadow and Divine Child, huh?"

Lei Dian really thought about it.

"I bet he's somewhere reading a new light novel, or maybe he's researching a new dessert recipe."

"Kusai-gumi spends most of his time at Narukami Taisha, with that child Hana-sanri."

Having experienced loss, they cherish this peaceful reunion.

In the midst of this peaceful atmosphere, the lump of "charred charcoal" on the ground suddenly twitched violently, then let out a hoarse groan: "Water...give me water..."

All eyes turned to that direction.

Er Kang struggled, swaying like a broken doll as he tried to sit up.

The charred skin on his body began to crack and peel off, revealing new skin underneath, like a snake shedding its skin.

The process was accompanied by soft "crackling" sounds and the rustling of falling black ash, which looked both eerie and somewhat disgusting.

Zhang Chu handed over a water bottle without expression.

Erkang took it, not caring about his image, and gulped down several mouthfuls. Then he let out a long sigh, as if he had come back to life.

He shook his head, and more charred fragments fell from his hair.

"Alive...alive..."

His voice was still hoarse, but it had regained its signature, slightly irritating energy.

"Damn it, that author... he's really ruthless! And those readers! They're all petty! I just told the truth!"

Qingyu coldly retorted, "You call that the truth? That's just asking for trouble! The author was being lenient by not making you the female lead!"

Erkang retorted defiantly, "Why should I! I'm so masculine and imposing! If anyone's going to be written about, it should be in the book... cough cough!"

He realized that Lei Dian was still there, so he quickly stopped the car and coughed awkwardly twice.

Raiden smiled, as if he hadn't heard anything strange, and said gently, "It seems Mr. Erkang has recovered quickly. Since everyone is safe and sound, why not stay in Inazuma for a few more days? Although it's not as free and unrestrained as Mondstadt, nor as bustling and lively as Liyue, Inazuma now has a unique tranquil charm."

Just then, the Wolf King's calm, mechanical voice came from outside the courtyard: "An encrypted communication request from Liyue Harbor has been detected. The sender is marked as 'Guest of the Hall of Rebirth'."

The eyes of the four (including Er Kang, who had just been "resurrected") lit up instantly!

Grandpa Zhongli contacted me first? It must mean something good (or big trouble)!

It seems that Inazuma's peaceful daily life is about to be disrupted again.

Chapter 124 A broken heart

"How is it, Wolf King? What important matter did Grandpa Zhongli send a special message about?"

The group immediately surrounded the wolf king, who had just ended the communication, their faces filled with curiosity.

After all, that guest elder of the Hall of Rebirth wouldn't usually contact them unless there was a reason.

The Wolf King's azure electronic eyes flickered calmly for a moment, and it replied in a completely flat, mechanical voice, "It's not an emergency. Mr. Zhongli is just reminding us that, according to the Liyue calendar, the Lantern Festival will be held in about thirty days."

"Lantern Festival?"

Upon hearing this, Qingyu deflated like a punctured balloon.

"Isn't there still a month left? Isn't it a bit too early to remind us now?"