Girl Band, Gravity Capture

Page 90

With the band already irreparably broken, she knew that it wouldn't have a positive impact on the current situation and might even cause conflict.

“…I see.” Lost in her own thoughts, Shiina Tatsuki didn’t notice the pause in his words. “So, after everyone has been found… Xu Dou, what do you plan to do next?”

"Would you like to continue?"

"...Lixi,"

After a long silence, Yuan Xudou raised his head, and a tired look appeared in his eyes that was very similar to the one she didn't want to recall from that day.

“There won’t be any more,” he said softly. “I don’t want to continue.”

"I'm sorry, Lixi, I couldn't keep my promise to you."

This is a belated response to her questioning that day.

Surprisingly, Shiina Tatsuki remained remarkably calm after receiving this already predetermined outcome.

Or perhaps it was because of the resentment and bitterness brought about by that shocking fact, like the dizziness of chest tightness, that had gradually subsided during the six-month buffer period; or perhaps it was because she had struggled for a long time in the pain of losing something important before finally understanding her true inner thoughts.

—More than the band, Shiina Tatsuki probably cares more about the promise he made with him, the promise that would allow him to get rid of his sense of inferiority.

The reason why I find it so hard to accept the fact that the band has disbanded is probably because I mistakenly believe that the pain of loss is the persistence of the band's existence... Only after both have slipped through my fingers can I distinguish the order of importance in my heart.

...The existence of the person who truly makes everything shine, occupying the most crucial position, is such a simple fact... To get even that wrong, to value the band more, is truly...

I'm the one who should apologize.

...This time, I don't want to give up halfway.

“What’s with the ‘sorry’…” Shiina Tatsuki’s face showed a complicated expression as she spoke in a low voice, “The one who decided to join [CryCHIC] and believed those words was myself.”

Therefore, I also bear at least half the responsibility.

The deception and betrayal of failing to keep the promise... as long as you're still here, it doesn't seem so unforgivable.

Because I truly cherish those happy times that you brought, those moments that gradually accumulated... I don't want everything to end so easily.

"...Anyway, you won't just give up like that, will you?" Shiina Riki looked up at Minamoto Kōdō, her purple pupils reflecting a determined look. "I don't believe you'll give up on Akari, and Mutsu... or even Shoko."

"And me too." She added silently in her mind.

"...Do you still believe me even now?"

Gently tapping the rim of the cup with his fingertips, Yuan Xudou's expression turned somewhat helpless.

Su Shi, Xiang Zi… even Li Xi, with whom they had a conflict but have now reconnected, are examples of this. The trust placed in them is too heavy to ignore or refuse.

Why are there so many people around me who refuse to let go no matter what, so stubborn that I can't just sit idly by?

"You said those kinds of things before, do you really think you can just deny it now?" Shiina Tatsuki stared at him without flinching, arms crossed. "I won't admit it."

Some people's trust can be completely destroyed by a single blow; while others' trust, after a painful struggle, becomes even more stubborn and resolute.

She shouldn't be the type of person who easily entrusts her trust to anyone, but that's precisely why those rare acts of trust are so stubborn.

After uttering words that sounded like a declaration of wanting to rely on Genjiro, Shiina Tatsuki's ears turned slightly red.

However, a decision already made cannot be abandoned because of a little shame. If Shiina Tatsuki gained anything from the encouragement Minamoto Koto had given her in the past, it must have been this almost obsessive trust and unwavering determination.

...If you were to say something as heartless as "Let's start over as friends" at a time like this, you might just get attacked by an angry Lixi and end up in a fight.

Fortunately, Yuan Xudou wasn't so lacking in emotional intelligence. He could see the affection and determination in those beautiful, crystalline eyes, like purple gemstones, with perfect clarity.

This must be the consequence of the boy who was too confident that he could bring happiness to everyone and casually took care of his companions, making them feel warmth. After experiencing an irreparable failure, he couldn't be a heartless scoundrel, so he could only take responsibility and repay these debts.

Just as Toyokawa Shoko felt guilty towards him, he also had to take on Shoko's share and make up for the unpleasant memories of the other girls who were hurt by the band's disbandment.

Because... this is the story that began with him and Xiangzi. All the joy and sorrow that arose from this relationship are inseparable from it.

"Yes, Lixi."

Genjiro closed his dark eyes, the weary and melancholic look vanishing, replaced by a voice as gentle and clear as a breeze. Then, he earnestly raised his head, his gaze fixed on Shiina Tatsuki.

"I will take responsibility."

Without an immediate response, Shiina Tatsuki stared intently into Genjiro's eyes for a long time before finally letting out a slow, dazed breath.

Her delicate profile, tinged with a faint blush like the sunset, revealed a relaxed smile.

No matter how many times... I still want to believe in you.

"But...you said it yourself."

Chapter Seven: Talent and Responsibility

Taking responsibility—such a simple phrase can be interpreted in countless ways.

It can be as small as a promise made for something in the present moment, or as big as a promise that covers one's entire life.

It can be a word of comfort to a hypocrite, words that can be easily misinterpreted, or it can be a promise that is worth its weight in gold.

For someone as outstanding and gentle as Yuan Xudou... "Responsibility" must be a very heavy word.

For geniuses, what can best restrain and shackle them, causing them to hesitate, waver, and struggle, is themselves.

Because once a decision is made, it cannot be changed, he doesn't want to rashly agree to other people's requests and do things that require responsibility—otherwise, his relationship with Nagasaki Motoyo should have already soared like a rocket, reaching a level that no one can catch up with.

That doesn't mean he's afraid of taking responsibility, but rather that he'll take it seriously and doesn't want to deceive or hurt anyone, even if it means shouldering a heavy burden. That's why he's considering things so carefully.

"I haven't yet come to the realization that I'm carrying the weight of anyone's life"—this statement perfectly encapsulates a meticulous approach to emotional life. Once I've grasped something, I won't let go; once I've made a decision, I won't change it; I'm more stubborn than anyone else when it comes to things I've decided on.

It was because she vaguely sensed that heaviness that Nagasaki Motoyo patiently waited for him to make up his mind, willingly enduring loneliness for the time being. This feeling, which could perhaps be called "security," has an almost fatal attraction for any girl with a weak mentality who wants to find companions.

They want lasting relationships, they want to create a safe haven, they want unconditional understanding and affirmation...

Those thoughts, which should be rare, unhealthy, and abnormal, would never occupy the mind of a normal person, even if they existed.

So from childhood to adulthood, all the girls Won Heo-do encountered were girls who tried to get closer to him because of his natural good looks. Of course, he didn't think there was anything wrong with that. Appreciating beauty is human nature, and he preferred young and beautiful girls. At the same time, he didn't deny that his face brought him many advantages.

Making excuses and refusing to acknowledge one's own excellence is, in a sense, an insult to those who are inferior to oneself.

Being able to clearly recognize and acknowledge one's own difference from others, and to dissolve that inherent arrogance into tolerance and care for others—that is one of the reasons why Genjiro Toru and Toyokawa Shoko were able to understand each other so well. In this respect, the two are very similar.

The difference lies in the fact that Toyokawa Shoko's excellence partly stemmed from her family background. When she lost those advantages, the once radiant young woman could no longer maintain the tolerant and peaceful mindset of a privileged young lady and became preoccupied with other matters. In contrast, Minamoto Koto's personality was entirely his own.

However, acknowledgment does not mean complete acceptance.

Flirting and compliments couldn't touch the boy's heart. He had previously seemed uninterested in women and had no friends, for a very simple and absurd reason—it's impossible for a normal person to make Yuan Xudou want to get to know someone better.

No matter how interesting, lively, or popular a person is, he won't want to get to know them; any attempt to approach or strike up a conversation will be met with the simplest rejection.

She will help those who ask for her help, and she will respond to jokes. She does not resist communicating with the outside world, but simply—she does not need them.

Yuan Xudou doesn't need anyone and can live independently in any environment.

That's why we are attracted to imperfections and abnormalities.

...Perhaps what Takamatsu Akari meant by "becoming human" also applies to him. Because he is so outstanding, that perfection becomes an anomaly, a flaw. He might be the most incomplete person in the world, which is why he is attracted to his own kind.

Ironically, groups of girls with inner emptiness, whom I had never noticed before, suddenly appeared.

Of course, he may have encountered similar situations before, but those flaws remained hidden in his heart, unnoticed by his reluctance to develop deep relationships with others. Like Shiina Tatsuki or Toyokawa Shoko, no matter what one looks at, their inner abnormalities, big or small, are impossible to discern from their outward appearance.

The only one who could be seen through at a glance was Takamatsu Akari, whose "alienation from human society" was too strong. The other girls required a little more understanding and interaction.

It sounds somewhat tragic—but he figured he'd never be able to fall in love with a normal girl in his life; that's the price of talent, I suppose. Yuan Xudou, realizing this later, would occasionally think to himself with a touch of self-deprecation.

He was too naive back then, not yet realizing the truth, and directly fell into a band that was almost tailor-made for him. It all started with Takamatsu Akira's deep plea, that tearing force like emptiness that captured him when he wasn't resisting.

...But thinking about it carefully, even without the band opportunity, it seems that I had become familiar with Su Shi at that time and had vaguely come into contact with another side of her...In the end, I still couldn't escape it.

...Even now, Gen Xudou doesn't think joining [CryCHIC] was a wrong decision.

If he had said those words to Toyokawa Shoko, she would have hugged him tightly, feeling guilty and heartbroken. But unfortunately, that guilt was only directed at him. Toyokawa Shoko, like him, still didn't think leaving the band was a mistake.

At most, on that day, she acted rashly and used the wrong approach, choosing to escape and be stubborn. But even if she could have a normal conversation with Yuan Xudou, she would still likely leave the band and focus on making a living. Everyone's face would be saved a little, but the outcome wouldn't change.

Even important bands will eventually come to an end due to the loss of members, and one day, they will have a relatively dignified ending.

That was something completely contrary to the eternity that everyone initially envisioned, expected, and sacrificed for.

Therefore... this path is wrong.

That day, with sorrow in her golden eyes and a painful gaze fixed on him, Wakaba Mutsuki had already made the answer clear with her always straightforward yet incisive words.

"...The band will not be happy."

That should be correct.

Because Mu wouldn't lie to him.

People who have confessed their feelings for each other are bound together and hurt each other; something they cherished and nurtured crumbled and collapsed so quickly. What other explanation is there besides the fact that it was fundamentally flawed?

...Yuan Xudou no longer wanted to think about those things.

He will not deny the promises he made in the past, nor the happy memories they hold. However, he will not revisit them.

But he hasn't given up on his original companions, even someone like Shiina Riki... a girl who likes to get stuck on things, who sulks and then shrinks away, and who never speaks politely or gently, making her incredibly troublesome.

The promises of the past must be kept, and responsibility must be fulfilled today.

What struck him as slightly odd was the look in Shiina Tatsuki's deep purple eyes when she heard those words. Based on his previous understanding, his eyes should have held a barely concealed joy, along with a hint of stubbornness.

The look in her eyes now... is so complex it's impossible to understand.

...Perhaps the blow of the band's disbandment was too great, and he couldn't adjust his mood for a while, which also caused a slight change in his personality.

How could Shiina Riki have the same dazed look in Nagasaki Motoyo's eyes that even he felt inexplicably dangerous? She was clearly the one who was most likely to back down, and usually you couldn't tell that she had any obsession with feelings.

...It couldn't be that some idea suddenly came to mind.

Yeah, don't scare yourself.

However, just to be on the safe side, after chatting with Shiina Tatsuki for half an hour and confirming that their relationship had been reconciled and that they would no longer ignore each other as before, Gen Xudou finished his fruit tea and said goodbye to her before the new flow of people arrived.

As he stepped out of RiNG's store, Won Heo-doo glanced down at the time.

Around 2:30 pm.

The increasingly bright sunlight shone on the back of his neck, its warmth flowing from his fingertips like a hot spring in winter. The gentle spring breeze swept away the complexities of the world and the boy's clothes.

A text message popped up on his phone, he glanced at it, a slight smile playing on his lips, tapped a few times, and then slipped it into his pocket.

"Coming soon"

The time is perfect; it's time to keep my appointment.

Chapter Eight: You, whom I love more than anything else

Sunlight filters through the trees, casting dappled patterns of light that dance across the ground, leaving trails of platinum gold.

Unlike her usual Tsukimori school uniform, Nagasaki Motoyo wore a plain white short-sleeved top today, which covered her full breasts, making her look innocent and conservative. From her slender waist down, the thin black stockings on her rounded legs added a touch of mature charm.

A handbag tied with a light blue ribbon at the zipper was placed to the side. The girl's face did not show the smile she usually wore when dealing with others; her azure eyes were as calm as a still lake. Her carefully styled long brown hair fell naturally, spreading out on the bench.

Sitting under the shade of a tree, Nagasaki Motoyo lowered her head, her fingertips lightly swiping across her phone, intently watching the image appear on the screen. Every now and then, she would look up, carefully and attentively surveying her surroundings, searching for the figure she was waiting for.

Seeing this still and beautiful scene from afar, Yuan Xudou raised his eyebrows, and his thoughts, which had become somewhat heavy due to thinking about Shiina Riki, couldn't help but lighten up a lot.

He stepped forward and quietly approached Nagasaki Motoyo while she was still looking at her phone.

However, just as she approached within five steps of the girl, she keenly sensed someone approaching and immediately raised her head, looking warily at the newcomer. Upon recognizing it as Gen Xudou, Nagasaki Motoyo's face immediately lit up with a sweet smile, genuinely joyful without any intention of flattery.

"Su Shi, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting." Yuan Xudou lowered his head slightly as he walked up to the girl, who was sitting on the bench, and said apologetically.

"No, no... I just arrived not long ago. Xu Dou, you're right on time." She picked up her handbag, stood up from her chair, and looked at the boy's light blue eyes with anticipation. "Where are you planning to go today?"

Nagasaki Motoyo felt that she had never been in such a good mood.

Whether it was Yuan Xudou's rare initiative to invite her out for fun, or the fact that it looked and felt like a date between a couple, she was overjoyed.

Although she believed that their first date was shortly after they met, she knew that was just her own idea... But now, this was undoubtedly a real date that even Xu Dou would approve of!

The mindset when dating someone you like is completely different from the mindset when hanging out with friends. In just this short period of time, Nagasaki Motoyo deeply and happily experienced this fact from the gentler gaze of Genjiro Toru.

Even though we've spent so much time together and know each other so well... it still feels completely different, much warmer and more delightful than the spring sunshine or hot springs.

...My heart was pounding.